it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
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