it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
