question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
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