On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
