I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
