The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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