last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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