Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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