I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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