Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
The air was thick with penises
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
My life is pants optional.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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