if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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