I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
