Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
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