It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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