the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
