That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Randomize
