My first STD was from a foam party
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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