I'm sorry my penis didn't work
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
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