Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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