I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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