I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
She said her name was "party"
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Randomize
