I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
