Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Randomize
