I think I won the penis lottery.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
