Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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