the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
