the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
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