Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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