dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
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