Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
