Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
