She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
