i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I think people are normalizing furries
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
