I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Randomize
