Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
