I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
