Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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