Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
