It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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