I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Buhtt sex?
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Randomize
