No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
