Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
