We're like a lot better than the average bears
Just cropdusted the office
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
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