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Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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