I wish I could teleport
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
