Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
