Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
