where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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