so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
