Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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