I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
